Now I work down at the car wash
Where all it ever does is rain


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Wanted: A stable love addict with a keen interest in televangelism 
                and pop psychology.





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I remember waiting outside for her while I stayed warm in mom and dad's car, Coax Me by Sloan playing on the radio.
That puts it at 1994.
Up the stairs behind the town facade was a small one bedroom apartment.
It wasn't that nice, carpet all over.  The kind you find in offices.  God knows what a thing like that went for then.
Won't you come over for oxtail stew?  Won't you come over for shark steaks?
Or something ridiculous like that.  She'd just come back from New York City after all and knew what was what.
Back from New York City with nothing but hearsay and a few pieces of an outrageous costume.
A hat in the shape of cabbage leaves to be worn with a matching dress.  Not much use for a kooky getup like that in small town Ontario but man didn't she once live in that cabbage.
You know what a Club Kid is?  I was on Geraldo once... 
Or was it Donahue.  Paraded around like a freak for a disapproving audience.
What do your parents think about all this?!  Why don't you get a real job?!  What are you going to do when the party's over??!!
You're gonna go back home and get a waitress gig at the Ho-Jo I kid you not.
Geraldo says: they're usually getting home at this time but they woke up early just for us!
High as fuck, that's what.
She showed me once, her segment.  Bits of something glued all over her face it could have been anyone.
I was called Princess Botanical, I vomited the first time I took heroin.
I hadn't even left for the city yet and here was a retired Clubber recalling the halcyon days of Michael Alig.
Alig, an acquaintance who was the lord high priestess of the scene.  There was unicorn dust in her eyes when she spoke his name.
He would go on to murder, the 'party's over' headlines wrote themselves.
Fuck me, Donahue was a little right I guess.
She'd had a fling with my high school boyfriend.
He has a good size cock, the sex was very nice.
And I didn't even flinch because that's just who I was gonna be.






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Wanted:  An archetypal Pisces with a propensity for secrets and 
                 organization.  Must love blogs.




Oprah said Maya Angelou said that when you know better you do better and that's some third hand hope to take into your next act of life.
Deepak Chopra says leftovers are dead so start trashing your fridge.
Dr. Phil didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
Eckhart Tolle will eat human flesh whether it is necessary or not.
Tony Robbins will help you get that private island at any cost.